I've Got A Trot For That!!

I've been lucky enough to be able to ride my horse 3 out of the last 6 days. Yeah, that's like every other day. It's been good, the only bad thing I can say, is She's a BRAT. Her favorite thing right now seems to be the trot. I will admit, that's usually her favorite, but lately she's taking it to a whole new level. Multi-speeds, and one for every occasion. Yep, She's definitely got a trot for that. Walk... "oh, oh, I've got a trot for that". Trot....."yep, I got a trot for that". Lope, "oh, goody, I've got a trot for that". The only thing she doesn't seem to have a trot for is going in a really small figure eights over walkovers that are two feet high. Now, you can bet if I let the figure eight get a bit bigger, she'd have a trot for that. But, to be completely fair, I enjoy that slow little shuffle of a trot that she saves for special occasions.

Let's see if this riding streak can continue. Maybe I'll see that shuffle more often if I can give her the attention she deserves.

Kids Know how to Put it all in Perspective

This week was a bit of a sad one for my son. He found out on Wednesday that a classmates father had passed away Tuesday evening while mowing his lawn. Now, I'd never met the man, but he did make an impression. You see, Gary had the terrific opportunity of volunteering for a kindergarten field trip to Hogle Zoo a couple of weeks ago. He got to spend the day hanging out with Neil and one of his classmates. At the last minute, this other boy's dad was able to go. He originally didn't know if he would be able to trade anybody for the day off, so he didn't volunteer. He rode up to the zoo with my husband, and the two men were able to spend the day enjoying their sons enjoying the zoo. This was the kind of man who took a video camera on a field trip, and ran with every idea the two boys had of what to film. The boys ended up playing " 'Hooligan' and 'Galute' on the island of Madagascar". And this wonderful man caught it all on film. Why can't more parents be so willing to run with the wild ideas of their children? This man also treated my husband like he was spending the day at the zoo with an old friend, not somebody he just met earlier that morning. Why can't more people show such kindness and warmth to everybody? How much happier would this world be? If we were to just leave our insecurities on our pillows every morning and truly enjoy the day that is before us? Love everybody and try to make a positive mark on those we meet?

I saw the note from the school, telling the parents of the class, on Thursday morning. With the rush of activity in our house on Wednesday, I had neglected to even look in Neil's backpack. I talked to Neil about it that morning, and asked him how he was doing. He said that he missed his friend (classmate), and re-told in brief the adventures of " 'Hooligan' and 'Galute' on the island of Madagascar". I told him to remember to be extra nice to his friend when he returns to school next week, and he said "I already am". Good point, we should be kind enough to people before something world shattering happens, that they know they have a friend in us, when a friend is needed. I asked my son if he needed a hug, and he said "No, I've already handled it". And he has, he looks a bit sad when I ask him if he's doing okay. He remembers a fun day at the zoo with his friend and their dads. And he goes back to being a boy. Isn't that the best way to remember those we've lost? Reflect on the fun we've had and go back to living our lives?
I understand that my son is only 6 and loss at that age is far different from a loss at an older age...but why?

Saying Good Bye to an Old Friend.

Neil got a new violin yesterday. He didn't want to do it, but it was time. Little arms just don't stay little for too long, and he had outgrown last years fiddle. He desperately wanted to keep him, he gets so attached. But, after lots of conversations about how we just can't keep every violin he grows out of. And lots of picture taking. He did it. Once we got to the shop (Charles W. Liu's Fine Violins), it was pretty easy. Mr Liu grabbed a 1/4 size violin, tuned it up, and started to play. At which time, Neil's eyes got HUGE..."oh, I like that one" he said. Mr. Liu told him to give it a try. And he immediately set out to try "Go Tell Aunt Rhody", he got about a line into it, felt the difference in size, and was a bit out of his comfort zone, to keep going in public. Mr. Liu came back and started tuning and playing a second violin, switched back to the first, and we made our decision. It was hands down the first. So, after much to-do, we made the switch. It's so easy to forget that every time he up sizes, it's like switching from violin to viola, for a time being. He'll get used to the feel, after a bit, but right now his arms and fingers are used to adapting to a violin that was a size too small.
This picture looks just creepy to me, but...

Neil wanted a picture of him packed up and
ready to go.


So, to date, we've had Little Neil (we still have that one, it just seemed okay to keep his first wee little fiddle), Rockstar (a.k.a Squawky) and now we have Squawky McBocky ( "It's Squawky, but you can call him Squawky McBocky if you want to, Mom") And I will, but only because Neil said it first. Neil names them all, no help from me, and I love hearing with what he comes up with.

So, here's the newest addition "Squawky McBocky"

Dreams...they're not always what you think they are..

I've been giving a lot of thought lately, to why am I here? You know, what's my purpose? What's that thing that I've always wanted to do, more than anything else?

I had always thought the answer would have something to do with horses. You see, for as long as I can remember I've been completely horse crazy. All I ever wanted when I was a young girl was a horse, then I got a horse and I just wanted to ride, I got a little older and the horse started to become a vehicle. A means of moving toward a dream, where could the horse take me? The obvious answer was horse shows. I did some of those, I won some stuff. Ribbons and a reserve champion jacket (that's like a second place overall kind of thing) It was in trail ( kind of like an obstacle course...my horse was super good at those)...That was Esprit, she was a lease horse for a summer. That summer would become a time I look back at as the best summer of my life. I was 26. In a strange way she introduced me to my husband. Who later would introduce me to our son. Who would make me start really questioning things. And we all know that without questions there can be no answers. I stopped showing horses at the end of that summer, and bought a weanling (baby) for an incredibly high price...what can I say? The guy saw me coming. That horse would be the source of some surprising dates when Gary and I were still getting to know each other. She still recognizes him as the guy who should hold the treat bucket, and that was almost 13 years ago. The plan had been to put her in training and show her when she was older....oh the glory of dreams. Training a horse is expensive stuff, showing one is even more. The horse got training, with a huge error in judgement on my part that led me to a trainer who was pretty much a swindler. Then, with the help of some wonderful friends, Audrey became a pretty sweet pony. She's great on trails (the mountain kind) even pretty fun on the obstacle course kind in the pen where she lives. But, there is no show ring in our lives. She's amazing and trustworthy and I've put Neil on her back more than once...there's something to be said for a horse trustworthy enough for your child.

Found It!! Don't they make the most perfect pair?

I've regretted and mourned the loss of the show days, and at times felt like that was what I was supposed to be doing with my life. I've been angry at the finances and the place in life that won't let it happen. I've done a hundred 'what if's and 'if only's. I've beaten my head on the wall and shed many tears. I've ignored my horse for what has felt like entire summers, just because I didn't know where this dream was leading me anymore. You see there's a huge shift in things when you have to redefine your dreams. And for somebody who has never been good at change, it's left me reeling. So, I've been questioning lately, just what is it that I'm supposed to be doing? The answer is really quite as clear as the nose on my face. I'm a mother and a wife, and that's really what I've wanted all along. The first horse that touched my heart (Stormy) and made me long for a horse of my very own someday. That first horse that was my very own (Moonshine), the horse that gave me hours upon hours of rides and smiles (Toe) and became the vehicle to move toward my dream. The horse that introduced me to that dream and gave me the confidence to chase after it (Esprit) and now the horse that is a part of that dream (Audrey). Horses have very much been central to the dream and at the very core of who I am, but they have not been the answer. I need to remember that. They have given my life meaning and they have given my life grace. They have given me the power to dream and the smiles that come with dreaming, but they have not been the dream. Gary and Neil, that dream is you.
Moonshine (too much horse for a 1st horse..lesson learned).

Toe. What every first horse should be. Showed me the power of dreams, the road home, and saved my sanity during it all.



Esprit..(She held my hand and babysat me so I could have the best summer of my life).



Without Esprit there never would have been THIS.